Decisions, decisions, decisions…

CB 6000 - A male chastity deviceThis is the blog of a man who recently turned 50 years of age but don’t worry, Gentle Reader, it is not a mid-life rant. It is a blog that has been initiated by a decision I made to tell my wife that I wanted her to lock me into a chastity device and take control of my “right” to orgasm.

If you have just come across this post while innocently surfing, I can imagine your jaw is now dropping and the expression “What The Fuck” or similar is hovering on your lips. Let me explain.

It is, I think, a natural instinct to take stock of how life is progressing at various checkpoints along the way. For most of us these are the “big” birthdays: 30, 40 and, in this case, 50. I certainly find myself doing this and mentally marking how things are going. In the past I have not found too many reasons to worry about the way my life has been progressing. A few missed opportunities, the odd stupid decision, a couple of things I wished I had not done or said but generally things were ticking along OK. This year was different. I had two serious concerns. The first was financial – we are not presently in a situation that is financially secure. This is a worry but not one that is likely to be of interest to anyone reading this blog. The second was that I no longer had a meaningful, intimate sexual relationship with my wife and it was making me very unhappy.

My wife, C, and I have been together for about 20 years. We have a young son and, like many couples in our position, sex has slowly moved onto the back-burner as concerns over schooling, after-school activities and all the stuff that just happens as you get older and have more responsibilities starts to take over. Sex between us was an occasional and predictable event – I would go down on her until she came, she would give me a blow job, we would fuck in the missionary position until I came and then we would go to sleep. Intimacy between us was missing; our conversation revolved around our son or the mundane activities of managing a home. In the evenings, when the boy had gone to bed, C would watch the TV and I would be in another room, on the laptop, roaming around the Internet.

The infrequency and predictability of sex left me vaguely unsatisfied but that just seemed to be the way things were and, at least, there was always masturbation to fall back on. Like many (if not all) men, masturbation has always been a part of my life. I reckon (and it is a conservative estimate) that I have masturbated at least once every three days, including bank holidays, since I was 14 years old. As a small aside, if we estimate that each ejaculation is about 5 mls then that’s roughly 22 litres (46.5 US pints) of my wrigglers that have met a sad, lonely end – this seems somehow depressing. Masturbation was a way of dealing with the frustration of a boring sex life.

Or was it? As a young man, masturbation had virtually no effect on my sex life. Let’s face it, I could generate an erection at the drop of a hat, shag like a loon and, given half an hour to recover, be ready to enter the fray once more. However, as time passes, the (reasonably) well-equipped repeater becomes a (reasonably) well-equipped single-shot rifle and having a wank depletes the ammunition and the desire to go shooting for a considerable period of time. Was it possible that masturbation was contributing to the paucity of our sex life rather than being a helpful prop for me to fall back on?

Of course, my interludes with Mrs Palm and her five daughters were not the only issue. It takes two to decide to sit out the tango and I realised that C and I were going to have to talk about our sex life and I was going to have to communicate my feelings and wish to spice things up again. This was not a conversation I was looking forward to since, as far as I knew, C was fairly happy with the way things were. I resolved, however, to stop masturbating and take it from there.

To be continued…

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2 Comments on “Decisions, decisions, decisions…”

  1. thumper Says:

    I’ve just recently discovered your blog and, since you’ve also just recently started it, I’ve decided to read it from the beginning. It’s refreshing to read a well-written account of another (relatively) normal man’s path of sexual self-discovery. I look forward to reading more!

    • acaptivatedman Says:

      Thumper,

      Thank you very much. Coming from you, that means a lot.

      For the benefit of anyone reading this comment: if you don’t know who Thumper is I strongly suggest you go and read his blog. It’s here.

      I recently read Thumper’s series on the “task” he was given by Belle Fille, his wife. She asked him to write down what evil perversions he was interested in. What he wrote is surprisingly moving. Really, go and read it.


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