Archive for October 2009

CBT for beginners

October 26, 2009

CBT equipmentWhat a frustrating time it has been lately (and I don’t just mean sexually). You will recall that wearing the CB 6000 led to a chaffed left testicle which required device removal. I kept it off for about three days and invested in some fetching new undergarments – pouch style to support and encase the “equipment” in nice, soft cotton.

All seemed well so C locked the device back on and everything, initially, was hunky dory. It’s amazing how much I enjoyed being locked up again but, sadly, the chaffed area started to flame up once more. I tried to get the left bollock to man it out but he wasn’t having it so I resorted to sticking an adhesive dressing over the little chap (those of you with any imagination will see where this is heading).

The chaffing was still painful so C decided the CB was going to have to come off for at least a week until everything had healed properly. She unlocked me and off it came. I decided to remove the dressing to let everything get a bit of air and it was at this point that I discovered a new variant on CBT (and I’m not talking about cognitive behavioural therapy). Allow me to inform you that removing an adhesive dressing from an unshaven scrotum is about as unpleasant as it sounds. I was whimpering like a child by the time I’d got the bloody thing off. Never again!

So, for the moment, I’m back on will-power. I miss the CB 6000 but I guess we’re just going to have to wait. I also managed to miss my last chance of a sexual release before C’s family arrived for four days. I fell asleep and she didn’t wake me up! C is adamant that nothing’s happening while her parents sleep in the room below us so I’m going to be on day thirteen before there is any chance of an orgasm and I’m a bit concerned that C may have plans to extend it even longer.

We were chatting in bed about the fact that she enjoys the control, and is missing clicking my lock shut in the mornings, when she asked me how long I thought I could stand to be denied. I know some of you guys are locked for months but I’m not ready for that yet so I stuttered that I wasn’t, erm, sure but, er, I might lose interest if it was too long. She dropped the subject but I get the feeling she is plotting long term encasement.

I say I’m not ready yet but I am finding that my feelings change as the time lengthens. I’m on day eleven now and the intense horniness of the first week seems to be mellowing into a more peaceful acceptance of my fate. I would really like to make love to C, not with the primary aim of achieving my own orgasm, but to provide her with pleasure. It’s an interesting feeling – I just wish I was enjoying it from the comfort of the CB 6000.


Health and safety

October 17, 2009

Protect and surviveIt’s been an annoying few days on the captivated man front. The day before our wedding anniversary I discovered that the side of my left testicle was becoming chaffed. It’s just a small area that’s rubbing on something, but it is painful. I think that what is happening is that the CB 6000 is both squeezing the “boys” outwards and also tending to drag things down. The result is that the edge of one of the “chaps” is chaffing on the fabric of my trousers.

Normally, I like to wear fairly loose fitting underpants but this, I think, is contributing to the problem as the package is pretty free moving. I suspect the solution is to hold everything under much tighter control with a jockstrap arrangement.

I had a rummage through the underwear drawer and unearthed a ridiculous “posing pouch” that had been given to me as a joke present by a friend years ago. Testing this out, it certainly seems to work well and hold everything more firmly up and tighter in to the body. It would do the trick but for the fact that it is bright, day-glow orange. It makes me look like my genitals have been tangoed.  Anyway, I’m in the market for some new undergarments.

Unfortunately, the chaffed area is still there so I have, reluctantly and with C’s agreement, had to refrain from wearing the CB until it heals up.

We had a splendid anniversary: a delicious meal and, with the youngling at his friends, a very pleasant, grown-up evening. C accepted the key so she is now officially the keyholder even if I am on temporary medical reprieve. I would have rather liked it if she could have worn it around her neck as a reminder to me (and she may occasionally do this) but her job makes it impossible on a full-time basis.

The zenith of the day was release for me after ten days of denial. I honestly don’t think I have ever had an orgasm like it. Usually an orgasm, for me, is a rhythmic affair, a pulsatile pleasure. This was more like firing a semen bullet, an intense ejaculation that was like a spike of pure ecstasy shooting up my spine. I was inside C when I came but, had I been “free” I suspect it would have shot across the room and knocked the table lamp over. The next time a hand job is in the offing I think I’m going to have to warn her to wear goggles or risk losing an eye.

Anniversary plans

October 13, 2009

Handing over the keyIt’s been four days since the CB 6000 arrived and I’m doing OK with it. The first day I wore it from midday and slept in it. Surprisingly, I slept very well and didn’t have a problem with painful night erections. I did get an erection at about five in the morning but it just felt like I was being squeezed – quite pleasant rather than painful.

Since then, I’ve had it on all day but taken it off before bed. The second night I removed it because I was finding it tiresome. For some reason I just couldn’t get it comfortable. The third night C removed it – I think she was feeling kind because nothing sexual happened at all.

I’m finding it OK to wear: most day-to-day activities are fine although I am, pretty much, constantly aware of the CB. It feels like there’s a weight attached to the bits and bobs, which, of course, there is. Bending tends to push everything up into the abdomen which can be uncomfortable – putting on my shoes is a trial.

I think C is getting used to it. She is quite happy to click the lock every morning which makes me feel very subby. She is not yet in charge of the key because I want to get used to wearing the CB and I’m not completely comfortable yet. I’m considering giving her the key on Thursday as it’s our wedding anniversary and I’ve booked a surprise meal at her favourite restaurant. I’ve also managed to palm our son off on his best friend’s parents for a sleepover so we’ll have the house to ourselves. To top it all, it will be day 10 of denial by then which is the longest we have done so far.

I do feel incredibly nervous about handing over the key to C but also very excited. It will truly put her in control of my ability to orgasm. This is the point I have been striving to reach and we’re almost there. I wonder where we’ll be going next.

Finally locked

October 10, 2009

Locked upThe CB 6000 has arrived!

Tickleberry have excelled themselves. I ordered it on Thurs afternoon and it arrived Sat morning.

Fortunately I’m on my own for most of today so it gives me a chance to try it out. I’ve had it on for about one hour so here are my very early impressions:

It comes well-packaged in an attractive zip-bag. It looks well made and everything seems present and correct. The padlock was provided with two keys which has saved a couple of quid as there was no way it was being employed without an emergency key. It seems a lot of money for what is, essentially, a few bits of plastic but I guess if you figure in tooling costs etc then it’s probably reasonable given a restricted market (how many do they sell?).

It took me about 20 minutes to get it on and it was quite a palaver. Hairs kept getting caught and odd bits of skin got pinched (ouch). I think trimming the pubes will be the way forward here. Much to my irritation, I got the cock ring part assembled only to discover that one ball had managed to slip out while I was paying attention to a trapped hair so I had to repeat the process. The tube was virtually impossible to get on (I’m uncut) without my foreskin pulling back which was uncomfortable. In the end I took a pair of scissors to some of C’s tights and used the stocking method which worked perfectly. I haven’t used any lube at all.

Once it was on, it was remarkably comfortable. I’m using the largest ring and the smallest spacer which seems pretty good at the moment. I’m certainly aware of it but it’s not an unpleasant feeling. I don’t think there’s any way I could pull out without causing terrible pain and I don’t intend to try it. The “package” is definitely larger but everything is kind of pulled down. I suspect tight jeans would be uncomfortable but we’ll see.

I felt so comfortable that I decided to take a walk to the shops. Weird feeling – you feel sure that everyone must be aware of you but, of course, they are oblivious. The only problem I had was when I bent down to tie my shoelaces. It must have pulled the device forward because I got a very definite testicular warning!

All in all, I’m a happy bunny at the moment as happy as a clam at high water (note: edited for copyright reasons – see comments).

Oh Fuck!

October 8, 2009

Two things have happened today.

1. We have ordered the CB 6000 from Tickleberry.

2. C has informed me that she has told one of her friends that she controls when I orgasm.

I’m going to go and contemplate my future life.

Tease and…

October 6, 2009

Betty PagePhew, it’s been a long nine days. For nine days I have been denied, spurned, neglected, bereft. Now it’s over and, man, was it worth it.

It was one of those weeks when we were both just collapsing into bed at the end of each day, too tired for anything other than a quick kiss and sleep. As the week went by, I started feeling like a little more than a peck on the lips but things just didn’t pan out that way. By the time we were hitting day nine, I was getting desperate and increasingly determined that C and I would do more than just cuddle even if I had to superglue her eyes open. Things were looking good: C made a teasing remark as she left for work and the old hormones started kicking in.

Then, at lunchtime, tragedy struck. C rang me to ask if I could take some tampons to her place of work. She thought she was about to start her period.

This, my friends, was very bad news. C has no interest at all in matters sexual when she’s “up on blocks”. I can’t say I blame her as she gets really unpleasant cramps and generally has a pretty bad time for five days. I’m lucky that she doesn’t turn into the PMT monster but it’s not a lot of fun for her.

From my selfish point of view, it was going to push anorgasmia to two whole weeks; a little longer than I had in mind right now. Oh well, it would be a test of willpower and fortitude. Mentally girding my loins, I prepared for the desert of denial.

We climbed into bed last night and I picked up my book to read for ten minutes. C’s hand crept over and her fingers gently cupped my balls. “False alarm” she said. “I haven’t started yet.”

She then proceeded to give me the most teasing hand/blow job I think I have ever had. Some time ago I showed C a video of Klixen giving one of her incredible hand jobs (NSFW) and C had decided to try the technique out. As a technique, I have to say, it’s a winner. C slowly and relentlessly brought me to the edge of orgasm then, just as I was on the very brink of coming, she looked me in the eyes, took her hands off my cock and said “I think that will do for tonight”.

I was absolutely gutted. I think I whimpered and I must have looked as pathetically desolate as I felt because she laughed and pulled me onto her. As I entered her she whispered “You ought to watch what you wish for. Next time I’m not going to take pity on you”.

It was fantastic.

Porn and I

October 2, 2009

All men are therapistsI have a rather ambivalent attitude to porn. On the one hand, I can appreciate why many people find it dehumanising and degrading; on the other, it has been a trusty masturbatory companion for many years.

I can still remember the eye-popping occasion when one of my best friends showed me his father’s “secret” porn stash. This was serious, hard-core pornography, not the kind of thing that was easily available in 1973 in my quiet home town. We were 14 years old. Up until that point, my only experience of porn had been the odd Penthouse or Men Only magazine sniggered over in the school yard.

I can remember looking at the pictures with awe. Women drooling over massive erections, being penetrated in every available orifice and giving every indication of thoroughly enjoying it. Those pictures were etched into my brain and stayed with me for many months as a mental slideshow during the serious business of pubescent masturbation.

Later, at university, I was exposed to alternative views on the acceptability of porn. Andrea Dworkin was popular with many feminist students and they espoused her position that pornography is a tool by which men control, objectify, and subjugate women. I could understand (and even, to some extent, agree with) their view but, by now, I had my own secret porn stash that I used as an aid to masturbation and I didn’t really think that I was subjugating anyone even if I did feel slightly guilty once the deed was done.

The Internet, of course, has brought hard-core porn to the masses and, like many others, I had a sub-section of bookmarks that linked to a few favoured sites for masturbatory enjoyment. I speak in the past tense because, although the bookmarks are still there, I haven’t clicked one for well over a month.

I can’t really imagine watching porn without the underlying intention to masturbate (C is totally uninterested in porn so it’s not something we watch together) and since I can’t masturbate (or won’t, if you prefer), why watch porn? All that would happen is that I would be crippled with an erection and unable to do anything about it.

It looked like porn was off the agenda and that was just fine until yesterday.

Yesterday I was reading some of the archived material on Thumper’s site and, in one post he mentions “ruined orgasm”. He was talking about a video he had seen and he provided a link (obviously NSFW). Bloody hell! Some of that was really, really hot.

Am I going to seek out similar material? You bet I am.

I’m going to look upon it as teasing myself.