Posted tagged ‘BDSM’

CBT for beginners

October 26, 2009

CBT equipmentWhat a frustrating time it has been lately (and I don’t just mean sexually). You will recall that wearing the CB 6000 led to a chaffed left testicle which required device removal. I kept it off for about three days and invested in some fetching new undergarments – pouch style to support and encase the “equipment” in nice, soft cotton.

All seemed well so C locked the device back on and everything, initially, was hunky dory. It’s amazing how much I enjoyed being locked up again but, sadly, the chaffed area started to flame up once more. I tried to get the left bollock to man it out but he wasn’t having it so I resorted to sticking an adhesive dressing over the little chap (those of you with any imagination will see where this is heading).

The chaffing was still painful so C decided the CB was going to have to come off for at least a week until everything had healed properly. She unlocked me and off it came. I decided to remove the dressing to let everything get a bit of air and it was at this point that I discovered a new variant on CBT (and I’m not talking about cognitive behavioural therapy). Allow me to inform you that removing an adhesive dressing from an unshaven scrotum is about as unpleasant as it sounds. I was whimpering like a child by the time I’d got the bloody thing off. Never again!

So, for the moment, I’m back on will-power. I miss the CB 6000 but I guess we’re just going to have to wait. I also managed to miss my last chance of a sexual release before C’s family arrived for four days. I fell asleep and she didn’t wake me up! C is adamant that nothing’s happening while her parents sleep in the room below us so I’m going to be on day thirteen before there is any chance of an orgasm and I’m a bit concerned that C may have plans to extend it even longer.

We were chatting in bed about the fact that she enjoys the control, and is missing clicking my lock shut in the mornings, when she asked me how long I thought I could stand to be denied. I know some of you guys are locked for months but I’m not ready for that yet so I stuttered that I wasn’t, erm, sure but, er, I might lose interest if it was too long. She dropped the subject but I get the feeling she is plotting long term encasement.

I say I’m not ready yet but I am finding that my feelings change as the time lengthens. I’m on day eleven now and the intense horniness of the first week seems to be mellowing into a more peaceful acceptance of my fate. I would really like to make love to C, not with the primary aim of achieving my own orgasm, but to provide her with pleasure. It’s an interesting feeling – I just wish I was enjoying it from the comfort of the CB 6000.

Being bratty

September 30, 2009

What a bratI’m ashamed to say that I was a bit of a brat last night.

Within the BDSM community the term “brat” is usually used to denote a submissive who is acting up or causing trouble to gain attention. This sort of behaviour is frowned upon as it is one manifestation of topping from the bottom.

Topping from the bottom, if I understand it correctly, is the situation that arises when the submissive partner in a D/s relationship attempts to manipulate the behaviour of the dominant. For example a bound submissive might tell the dominant partner that “It would be a really good idea if you whipped me now”. An experienced dom would ignore the submissive and carry on with what he/she had planned but someone less experienced might go along with the suggestion. The submissive is now controlling the scene, presumably to the detriment of both parties.

Last night, I’m sorry to say, I whined at C that I wanted her to tease me.

At the moment we seem to be running on a 7 day period of denial, then an earth-shattering release (for me) and back to 7 days of denial. Compared to some guys, 7 days seems pretty modest but it works well for us at the moment (I’m sure C has plans to extend this period that she is not sharing with me just yet).

I have noticed that for a couple of days after an orgasm I am pretty relaxed about the whole chastity thing. It doesn’t bother me and I don’t really think about it. By day 3 I am starting to get horny and this feeling just grows and grows until, by day 7, I’m a slavering puppy. The problem, for me, is that denial really means denial. There isn’t really a tease element. Occasionally, C will have me go down on her (which I love) but my cock is pretty much left alone. Later into the period of denial I don’t really mind this as I’m looking forward to release and I don’t want to jeopardise the possibility that this will happen. Around the day 3/4 mark it’s a long time to the expected release date and the todger wants some attention.

I have dropped hints to C that this is something I want her to do but, so far, it’s been very rare that any teasing happens. In all fairness, C works hard and has recently been promoted, which has increased her responsibilities, so she is tired when she gets home.

I know, I really do know that it’s C’s decision and I should just shut up and let her decide how things pan out. Unfortunately, last night was day 3 and I whined.

C was on it pretty quickly and told me to be quiet and that it was up to her what she did with her property but I could tell she was fed up that I had moaned. She went to bed early last night and was asleep when I eventually went up. This morning she was fine but I feel like an idiot. I need to remind myself that I asked C to do this and, while she seems to enjoy it, it is more work for her, not less.

I think an apology and a bit of pampering is in order tonight.

Mind or machine

September 19, 2009

Young Virgin Auto-Sodomized by the Horns of Her Own Chastity - DaliThose of you who have been following this blog since it started, in early September, will know that I asked my wife, C, to lock me into a male chastity device and throw away the key take control of my ability to orgasm. C agreed to do this but is unsure about the necessity for a device. Her view is that I should be able to use will-power alone to keep my hands off my cock her property unless she allows it. She has agreed to get a CB 6000 in a few weeks time but, until then, it’s mind over masturbation for me.

C is not alone in feeling that will-power should be sufficient; a recent post, at Informed Consent (a BDSM forum) asking about male chastity devices led to the following response from a professional dominatrix:

Why not just do as your dominant tells you and not touch?!

It’s now been about a month since C agreed to take control and the longest I have been denied, so far, is one week. I have been tempted, on a couple of occasions, to take matters into my own hands but, frankly, I’m enjoying the change in myself, C and in our relationship and it hasn’t been too difficult to resist temptation. Why, then, do I still long to be physically locked up? A device would appear to have many disadvantages over will-power and some do cause me concern.

1. Hygiene
This is a biggie for me. I like to keep the nether regions scrupulously clean. You could eat your lunch a small snack off my bits and pieces with nary a worry about hygiene. I can’t believe that Q-tips and soap will do the trick when applied via the vents in the CB 6000, especially as I’m uncut. The plan, at the moment, is for me to get up a bit earlier, for C to unlock me to have a shower (door open so she can check I’m not up to shenanigans) and clean the device prior to being locked up again before she showers.

2. Urination
I’m a bloke: I stand up to pee. It would appear that this will become a thing of the past when that padlock clicks shut. Normally, I would imagine that this will not be a huge problem (women seem to manage OK) although the queues for cubicles at busy events could prove tiresome and “popping behind a tree” on the way back from the pub may be extremely tedious. Also issues with hygiene – how easy is it to rinse off any excess? We don’t want the delightful odour of ammonia following us around.

3. Comfort
By all accounts, these devices take a bit of getting used to and a bit of fiddling with rings and spacers to get a good fit. That’s OK, I can cope with that. I’m less enamoured of the idea of night-time erections pulling everything forward and leading to terrible pain in the testicular region. I’m also a tad concerned about bits of the jolly old foreskin getting trapped in the vents of the CB 6000. It’s actually rather difficult to find much about the possession of a foreskin and the use of these devices so I would appreciate any information from the armies of the uncut.

4. Visability
I am not in the slightest bit ashamed of my urge to sport a cock trap but I don’t particularly wish it to become the talk of the town. One sniff of something like this (ammoniacal or not) and the “Yummy Mummies” on the school run would be awash with gossip. I don’t really want to replace all of my trousers with baggy daddy jobs either. I guess this is a wait and see issue.

5. Lost keys
Not so much of a problem with the plastic devices but this would be a nightmare.

6. Cost
These devices are expensive. Even the plastic CB 6000 runs to about £100 and the steel belts can be many hundreds of pounds.

With all of these potential disadvantages, why do I long for the click of the padlock? The answer lies in one word: control. The exquisite mental torment of knowing that control of my genitals is in C’s hands and that there is nothing I can do about it. At the moment, I could, if I wished, cheat. I won’t but I could. The knowledge that C controls the situation ramps everything up a notch. Why should this be? I don’t know but let’s not forget that the brain is the most powerful sex organ.